“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” — Lucille Ball
“The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.” — Oscar Wilde
“Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.” — Bob Hope
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
“A man has reached middle age when he’s warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.” – Henry Youngman
“Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.” — Charles Schulz
“Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!” — Dr. Seuss
“When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.” – Joan Rivers
I had a good birthday this past year, unlike 2021’s ghastliness. I’m way late on this post, but we had back to back visits with friends, my lovely step children, and family holiday gatherings… much joy, driving, food, shopping, more driving, Hornets and Panthers games, Ritz spa day, and more and more driving. With the amount of airport runs I made, I could easily be a Lyft driver. I need a vacation from ‘vacation’. November ’21 through March ’22, I’ll allow myself a small paragraph to trail back down to an all time low. I was in an isolated Covid restricted hospital room with my husband, Mark. We both had the virus, but my insane two week sinus infection like, low blood pressure (scarily fainted twice, fell on floor – intense forehead bruise for weeks), high fever for 10 days, chills, no taste, weight loss, debilitating fatigue symptoms that finally sorted itself out after a fortnight. Not so for Mark. Severe life & death threatening complications. I won’t recount all the trauma that will forever haunt us, but just having the ability to enjoy a meal together is significant these days. An oppressive side effect of being on a ventilator is you usually can’t eat solid food for months. Let’s just say enduring Covid booster side effects every four months is chump change (and worth every cent) compared to the pot of gold we endured for four months. Disease is unyielding. It always brings unique experiences, guaranteed. You would think we’d be bitter about this, but we’re not. We each had too many special and ecstatic moments for one lifetime, and one thing we’re not, is greedy. Reflecting back, I see many triumphs through our unexpected hardships during the pandemic. Anytime I have a defining moment or uncontrollable laughter these days, I’m grateful. I know, I have no desire to sound like a new age guru wannabe, Christ, no. I just am, and yes it may be a little too cotton candy for some but these moments make the tough ones much more bearable. The recovery and long term effects of Covid are nothing short of cruel. The good days and bad days. But the rewards are worth it. Helping someone feel better throughout (many) a tough night is gratifying (huge thanks to the nurses who educated us on an advanced level. Our digital thermometer and blood pressure gadgets are part of the family now). One of our blessings in the aftermath is our humor, we are a comedic team that is making the best of a situation that categorically changed the course of our lives. I have to mention our beautiful and loyal dog, Stella. She has added such an indelible joy to us. The past few months of holidays and family / friend’s reunions were nothing short of wonderful, along with their constant support we are on gratitude overload.
After a dear friend visited us recently, one of the highlights for me was the reminiscing we all joyfully recollected our heydays along with the music of those particular times our memories traveled back to. And may I just say, it’s always fun to be reminded of just how popular my husband was and is with the ladies… the laughs and ‘the wee small hours’ conversations. My perfectly cooked and juicy Thanksgiving Turkey was a success. Catching a long overdue Basketball game, and endless World Cup viewings everywhere in Charlotte made for a glorious Thanksgiving / Birthday week… we had a ball at the many Generation Xers shin-digs!
I guess it’s inevitable, as you get older you think back to different points, places, and people in your life. What would you do to go back? And at which time. Who hasn’t asked that question? I can say I did cherish each day as best I could, and the energy was boundless. It makes sense. My mom recollected my toddler phase, describing me as an energetic jumping bean. She said I would constantly skedaddle in my walker, nearly running over our beloved dog, Spunky and my brother, Anthony lying on the carpet quietly playing with his match box cars and Hess trailers. It’s safe to say I was an annoying pre-schooler. I still have that energy strangely enough… and hope I always will. One thing is clear, no matter which daydream I’m taking a dip in, the music at the time of my captured moment is key. I’ve found I am gravitating towards the genre of music during my denarian era, lately (last week it was my favorite era of my younger life, tricenarian… not the music per say). I guess it’s when I looked and felt my best, yet it had elements of pressure, that at times was less than reasonable. Although I still have pressure (who doesn’t?) They are strangely not debilitating me like the ones from the last two decades.
Nowadays I may not be as bright eyed as I once was, but I like who I am and how I look, my long term efforts have paid off and that’s half the battle with getting older. I’m more in tuned overall and confident. I like the people around me, all over our many stops throughout the year. Looking back on the last ten years, a shining light on my happiness is by helping others. Most recently was rescuing a homeless dog that we later found out was lost and named Heavy. Luckily the owners claimed him at the shelter within 24 hours, but I have to ask… how the hell did they lose that 100 lb beauty in the first place? And why would you give a shit name to a remarkable dog like that? I didn’t even get a thank you, none of us did… but it doesn’t matter because I along with the rest helped get that boy to a safe haven and it was a good day. But still, an Old English Bulldog deserves better than that. Just sayin’.
On another note, a bunch of us gathered around the table asking each other questions from the infamous Proust Questionaire, (because we had nothing better to do… 😉 we usually do this every five years for fun and to see where we all are on our evolving journey. I figured, what the hell I’ll share mine with you all. And on that note, I’ll end it here. Till next time, stay true.
What is your idea of perfect happiness? Exploring, contentment, and a warm slightly under cooked chocolate chip cookie. What is your most marked characteristic? Getting a word in edgewise.
What do you consider your greatest achievement? Making health and love a priority.
What is your greatest fear? Dependence.
Which historical figure do you most identify with? Depends on the day. Lately it varies from Lucille Ball, Gloria Steinem, and Mother Theresa.
Which living person do you most admire? The past year, Dr. Jeffrey Glen Walls (Pulmonologist that saved Mark’s life)
Who are your heroes in real life? The man listed above with all the other lifesavers in the ICU / hospital.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Impatience.
What is the trait you most deplore in others? Selfishness and irrationality – inexcusable behavior.
What is your favorite journey? The road of artistic excess.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Agreeability.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Jesus. Fuck off. A spades a spade, remember that.
What is your greatest regret? Not taking that MTV job at 22.
What is your current state of mind? Bravery.
Some notables from my lifetime playlist currently streaming on Little Mountain FM
The Things That Dreams Are Made Of, Love Action (I Believe In Love), and (Keep Feeling) Facination – three play by The Human League (In December 1978, David Bowie appeared in the audience and later declared to NME that he “had seen the future of pop music“)
The Good Life, Undone-Sweater Song, Hash Pipe – three play by Weezer (one of my favorite shows in ’94 with Angelfish featured as the opening act)
Bring On The Night, Voices Inside My Head, and Synchronicity II – three play by The Police (Tower Records circa ’93, my mom goes into the Carle Place, NY location to get me Message in a Box: The Complete Recordings for Christmas and asks “Do you have that box set by The Cops? The cashier chuckled and pointed her in the right direction… as my friend who was coincidentally buying records there overheard her and recollected to me)
Where It’s At, Debra, E-Pro, and Go It Alone – four play by Beck (Beck, Ben Folds Five, and Dave Matthews Band concert 6/7/98 was fucking fantastic!!)
Glass Onion – The Beatles
Give Me The Night – George Benson
Let Me Blow Your Mind – Eve (feat. Gwen Stefani)
Dumb – Nirvana
Buffalo Stance – Neneh Cherry
Everybody – Madonna
Ex-Girlfriend – No Doubt
Take A Picture – Filter
State Farm – Yazoo
6th Avenue Heartache – The Wallflowers
Uncertain Smile – The The
High & Dry – Radiohead
3X5 – John Mayer
Cherry Lips – Garbage
Girls and Boys – Blur
I’ll Be You – The Replacements
Two Hearts Beats As One – U2
You’re So Vain – Carly Simon
I Don’t Care Anymore – Phil Collins
Telephone – Lady Gaga (feat. Beyonce)
Personal Jesus – Depeche Mode
Goody Two Shoes – Adam Ant
Star – David Bowie
Poison Arrow – ABC
In The Waiting Line – Zero 7
Someone Great – LCD Soundsystem
My Favorite Game – The Cardigans
Pain Lies On The Riverside – Live
Piece Of Me – Britney Spears
Car Song – Elastica
U Got The Look – Prince
Virtual Insanity – Jamiroquai
Bad Reputation – Joan Jett
Pressure – Billy Joel
How Do You Sleep? – John Lennon
A Horse With No Name – America
Crazy – Seal
D’You Know What I Mean? – Oasis
Seasons – Chris Cornell
Special Dedication to my brother, Tony (always with us ❤️)
Centerfold – J. Geils Band
Lights Out – Peter Wolf
Love Is A Stranger – Eurythmics
Why – Annie Lennox
Tusk – Fleetwood Mac
E=MC2 – Big Audio Dynamite
Since You’re Gone – The Cars
Touch Me – The Doors
P.s. I know I don’t write nearly as often as I once did, (read previous posts) but whenever I’m able to publish my soul wrenching scribble with all of you, well I thoroughly enjoy it. Likewise with all of your posts on WP! Keep up the bards work!! Thanks for your understanding and I can only hope when I do have the time to share, it’s worth the wait.
RIP John A. Brennan, one of the nicest gentleman and finest writer’s I’ve ever come across – till I hear and read your stories again.
Ciao for now and cheers to the happiest of New Years!
Li Li